This year has brought about a lot of changes in my life. If you know me at all personally, you may think that’s a bit of an understatement. As I have completely turned my life upside down.
I left my husband.
I left a house.
I left the state that I have called home my whole life thus far and moved across the country to do something. What, what was that something? It feels like in the last few weeks I have been really rediscovering the whole idea of what this huge life change has been for, and I want to reconnect with myself now. Somewhere along the way in my life, I got swept up in other peoples idea of a dream life. I let other’s ideas overshadow my own and rushed around to get it all checked off my list to a perfect life.
So, I started to check things off my list towards a typical West Michigan perfect life early on in my young adulthood. First, I went to school right after graduating high school, to somewhere in the same state I had always lived and started college with high hopes. Hopes that seemed to start with like many others looking at lists of ideal jobs to earn that 6 figure income we all need and to really rake in the doe. So, I settled on pharmacy like most of the freshmen at my school it so turned out.
Then, I met a guy, a great guy who I thought well this makes sense, check. As I continued, ultimately deciding to go a completely different direction for lack of motivation to continue in such a difficult field. (Shout out to anyone out there who may be a pharmacist, you rock!) Now, we are done with school and planning to be married in the next Autumn, so I take time off school and start to plan to be what I perceive as a proper young lady.
That’s when I took a year off school and planned a beautiful wedding filled with love and family. It really was great, but then moving past the wedding I felt emptiness in my relationship. Both with my then partner and inside of myself, an emptiness that I never expected to find within. An emptiness that truly shook me and made me question a lot of things, starting with what I really desire in life? After all, how could I be unhappy? How could I be questioning my decisions? I was living the dream of most young ladies surrounding me. Now working a good job at a local insurance company, with a house, a husband, and even a little puppy now. What more could I want? How greedy was I really?
What more could I want? Passion: both in my life and in my relationship. A sense of wonder, something that I thought I lost that is until you came along. That was when the match was lit in a sense and a fire sparked. All of the sudden something was reignited within me, that I had been letting burn out. I remembered or rather realized what I had truly always wanted. Not your typical West Michigan lifestyle, no that wasn’t right for me. I wanted something different. I wanted a partner who drove me to be a better version of myself consistently. I wanted to find that passion in myself again and once I did, I absolutely could not let it go out, not again. I couldn’t fall back into sleepwalking. I remember the feeling of reawakening a fire deep from within.
Now, my dreams weren’t naive and outlandish, they weren’t stressful or unwelcome either. No, now my dreams were validated and even encouraged, my dreams were met with similar thoughts and ideas to challenge me to think bigger. Here is where I found my passion. Here is where I would take a leap and put my heart on the line, right on my sleeve where it had always belonged.
The Start of Something
So I jumped. I left. And we moved, we moved all the way out to sunny California, that’s where I introduce myself to you readers as Radically Jess.
Back to reality, I feel more inspired than ever, I feel more passion than ever, and I feel more in love than ever. I am working on a few specific new goals for myself. Ones that I feel passionately about ones that will change things for me in a positive way. My biggest goal is to live a life more true to who I am.
It can be hard sometimes with the constant pressures around each of us to live a life that other’s may relate to more easily. Sometime’s we all get wrapped up in the life we are supposed to want, rather than looking deep within and looking for what we individually want. We get wrapped up in practical, in the perceived safety of day-to-day life. There are a lot of unwritten rules in the city I grew up in. Things that are expected of each of us, just from a general community sense. Things that I am hoping to create a new thought, a new current to open thoughts about a little different lifestyle. One with more freedom to be yourself. One with fewer pressures to do the norm and more pressure to prevail as the ultimate you. Vulnerable. Inspired. Spontaneous. And everything else that makes me, me or you, you.
Becoming Radically You
To all of my readers, I ask you: whose dream are you living? I hope it’s yours, and if for some reason you think it’s not authentically your dream, I hope you take a stand and revolt. Be the best you possible, be the most radically you possible. At the end of the day live a life you are proud of and a life that inspires you to get out of bed in the morning. Sometimes that means a happy life in the suburbs and sometimes that means working on opening your own all-vegan bakery. Or maybe it means living a quiet life in the countryside somewhere, whatever it means to you I hope you reach for it. I think people are the most beautiful when they are uniquely themselves.
Leave your excuses at home folks and let the fire burn in you.
- To the love of my life, thank you for being an inspiration
- To my loved ones at home, you are so important to me and I support you in all of your future and current endeavors.
- To my readers, I hope you dig deep and find your fire and then never let it go out.
As always, live lightly and love courageously my dear readers.
P.S. I think Russ is happier now too. Here is a picture from his first time at the Ocean.