Let go at the beach

#0009 Becoming Radically Me

This year has brought about a lot of changes in my life. If you know me at all personally, you may think that’s a bit of an understatement. As I have completely turned my life upside down.

I left my husband.
I left a house.

I left the state that I have called home my whole life thus far and moved across the country to do something. What, what was that something? It feels like in the last few weeks I have been really rediscovering the whole idea of what this huge life change has been for, and I want to reconnect with myself now. Somewhere along the way in my life, I got swept up in other peoples idea of a dream life. I let other’s ideas overshadow my own and rushed around to get it all checked off my list to a perfect life. 

The Beginning

So, I started to check things off my list towards a typical West Michigan perfect life early on in my young adulthood. First, I went to school right after graduating high school, to somewhere in the same state I had always lived and started college with high hopes. Hopes that seemed to start with like many others looking at lists of ideal jobs to earn that 6 figure income we all need and to really rake in the doe. So, I settled on pharmacy like most of the freshmen at my school it so turned out.

Then, I met a guy, a great guy who I thought well this makes sense, check. As I continued, ultimately deciding to go a completely different direction for lack of motivation to continue in such a difficult field. (Shout out to anyone out there who may be a pharmacist, you rock!) Now, we are done with school and planning to be married in the next Autumn, so I take time off school and start to plan to be what I perceive as a proper young lady.

That’s when I took a year off school and planned a beautiful wedding filled with love and family. It really was great, but then moving past the wedding I felt emptiness in my relationship. Both with my then partner and inside of myself, an emptiness that I never expected to find within. An emptiness that truly shook me and made me question a lot of things, starting with what I really desire in life? After all, how could I be unhappy? How could I be questioning my decisions? I was living the dream of most young ladies surrounding me. Now working a good job at a local insurance company, with a house, a husband, and even a little puppy now. What more could I want? How greedy was I really?

Realization

What more could I want? Passion: both in my life and in my relationship. A sense of wonder, something that I thought I lost that is until you came along. That was when the match was lit in a sense and a fire sparked. All of the sudden something was reignited within me, that I had been letting burn out. I remembered or rather realized what I had truly always wanted. Not your typical West Michigan lifestyle, no that wasn’t right for me. I wanted something different. I wanted a partner who drove me to be a better version of myself consistently. I wanted to find that passion in myself again and once I did, I absolutely could not let it go out, not again. I couldn’t fall back into sleepwalking. I remember the feeling of reawakening a fire deep from within.

Now, my dreams weren’t naive and outlandish, they weren’t stressful or unwelcome either. No, now my dreams were validated and even encouraged, my dreams were met with similar thoughts and ideas to challenge me to think bigger. Here is where I found my passion. Here is where I would take a leap and put my heart on the line, right on my sleeve where it had always belonged.

The Start of Something

So I jumped. I left. And we moved, we moved all the way out to sunny California, that’s where I introduce myself to you readers as Radically Jess.

Back to reality, I feel more inspired than ever, I feel more passion than ever, and I feel more in love than ever. I am working on a few specific new goals for myself. Ones that I feel passionately about ones that will change things for me in a positive way. My biggest goal is to live a life more true to who I am.

It can be hard sometimes with the constant pressures around each of us to live a life that other’s may relate to more easily. Sometime’s we all get wrapped up in the life we are supposed to want, rather than looking deep within and looking for what we individually want. We get wrapped up in practical, in the perceived safety of day-to-day life. There are a lot of unwritten rules in the city I grew up in. Things that are expected of each of us, just from a general community sense. Things that I am hoping to create a new thought, a new current to open thoughts about a little different lifestyle. One with more freedom to be yourself. One with fewer pressures to do the norm and more pressure to prevail as the ultimate you. Vulnerable. Inspired. Spontaneous. And everything else that makes me, me or you, you.

Becoming Radically You

To all of my readers, I ask you: whose dream are you living? I hope it’s yours, and if for some reason you think it’s not authentically your dream, I hope you take a stand and revolt. Be the best you possible, be the most radically you possible. At the end of the day live a life you are proud of and a life that inspires you to get out of bed in the morning. Sometimes that means a happy life in the suburbs and sometimes that means working on opening your own all-vegan bakery. Or maybe it means living a quiet life in the countryside somewhere, whatever it means to you I hope you reach for it. I think people are the most beautiful when they are uniquely themselves.

Leave your excuses at home folks and let the fire burn in you.

  1. To the love of my life, thank you for being an inspiration
  2. To my loved ones at home, you are so important to me and I support you in all of your future and current endeavors.
  3. To my readers, I hope you dig deep and find your fire and then never let it go out.

As always, live lightly and love courageously my dear readers.

P.S. I think Russ is happier now too. Here is a picture from his first time at the Ocean.

20171008_142919
Little Russell Crowe

 

21 Comments

    1. Hi Lisa! I just peeped at your page and live the way you have categories set -up on it! Excited to keep reading about what sounds like your many adventures.
      Do you have any suggestions for other blogs that are similar to yours that you suggest?

      Like

  1. It was so courageous of you to see the life you were building and decide to stop. So many continue on realizing it or not. It took me having a breakdown after many years to really evaluate and understand why I was so unhappy. Beyond depression, it was that deep sense of unfulfillment. I was living the American dream but I wasn’t living my dream. I’m a simple gypsy soul who wants to live in an RV and travel the world. I want to have my own business changing lives and traveling to be where I have to be for my clients. I’m doing just that (minus the RV, working on it) 😉 Most people buy into what their life should look like instead of building a life they want. I’ve never felt more fulfilled than I do now. Wishing you all that you need to support you on your journey of self-discovery and self-actualization. Sending you lots of love! ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That is so uplifting to hear that others like me have felt that they were going the wrong direction and decided to change it. I am not saying I do everything right, I am saying that I work each day to shape my life into what I want it to be. Your journey sounds fulfilling and admirable. Thank you for being so honest and wholeheartedly sharing. That means a lot to me!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I’m glad you’re sharing your story because so many feel this way but are afraid to do anything. Change is scary and admitting that we’ve built a life we don’t love is a hard pill to swallow. It can be embarrassing, let people down, and hurt others. While it’s hard to break free it can be done. Pursue progress over perfection every time! You’re building life intentionally just as it should be! Thanks for allowing me to share. I can’t wait to see what you build ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    3. Building is hard. Building is scary. But more than that fear of unhappiness and self dissatisfaction led me to a new and more appropriate path.
      Here’s to you for letting your path change towards a more intentional set of goals and future as well! ♡

      Liked by 1 person

    4. It is hard and scary. But you’re right, I’m much more frightened of looking back and wishing I had made the right choices in the moment. So I always let my intuition guide me and go with my gut over my heart. Because the only times I’ve regretted it is when I didn’t go with it to begin with. To living intentionally ❤

      Like

  2. This was such a beautiful post and your story is truly inspiring. I’m so happy you pursued the life you wanted. I always try to remind myself that we only have 1 life and it’s important we make it our own. I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts and your pup is adorable! ❤️❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank Alys, I am glad you enjoyed the read. I hope to let others know they are not alone in their feelings of wrong choices and they can make positive changes for themselves, even in difficult situations.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I think it’s great you are happy and realize you rushed into something bc of a life you thought you were supposed to have. But some people actually are hsppy with the life you described in w Michigan 🙋🏻 (Although I am older in age and have had time to think). Just be cautious with how you word things, so as not to make people at home like friends and family feel like the life you left is less than because you desire something different. I don’t think you intend that, but it’s something to be considerate of, imo.

    ~SIL

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so happy and I admire the family you are creating and all of the lives at home. I am sorry if I didn’t convey that well enough, I don’t always have all the right words to illustrate that. I was simply telling my story and feelings. I know you are very wise. To anyone else who is reading this I only mean to give love and respect to all others.

      Like

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